So, I did it. I talked to my husband about my stay at home idea and he was totally on board. Honestly, I was totally shocked. I didn't think he was ready for me to be at home yet, I definitely thought he was going to want to have me a wait a few more years. I couldn't have been more wrong!
We were totally on the same page w/ so many things, sometimes apparently all you need to do is talk! HA! Who would've thought.
Anywho, the one thing we have to wait on before we can make any final decisions or starting making any definite plans is our tax return. The amount we get back is going to make it or break it. We also have to put his truck up for sale. So... here my friends is the plan.
Sell Truck
Get tax return
Use both of those to pay off both credit cards and my car
Take remainder (if any) and put it into savings
Try living 3 months on his salary plus a small portion of mine, and see if it's feasible
If it all works out, I'll get to stay home!!!! It would be my dream come true, you have no idea. While I don't mind working, and I do love my current job, I know I'm meant to stay at home. I'm meant to be a mom and a wife all the time.
Also, I've started my Mary Kay business back up! Very exciting stuff. I did it for a while last year and did pretty good with it, but personal and work related issues got in the way, and I just did have enough time or effort to continue to make it work. Which sucked, because it's a lot of fun, I really enjoyed doing it. If I'm able to get a consistent income from it, it will be able to be my part time job while I stay at home!! That would be amazing. If not though, I will have to get a part time job just a few days a week.
I'm so excited you guys, you have no idea. I never thought it would even be possible for this day to come anytime soon. Especially not this soon. Within 6 months I could be waking up with my baby everyday! I couldn't ask for more. Wish me luck!
*** If you're interested in any Mary Kay products, samples, hosting a party, or in the Mary Kay opportunity please feel free to email me through the contact section near the top right of the page!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Beauty Tip of the Week
If you put your eyeliner/lip liner in the refrigerator for about 10 minutes before sharpening, it will prevent it from breaking!
Monday, January 10, 2011
My Love of Cooking Makes Me Want to Stay Home
And of course the fact that I have a ridiculously gorgeous and adorable 1 1/2 year old that I would love more than anything to stay home with all day long.
But cooking, honestly it's a big part of it too.
Before I met my darling husband, I could barely cook up a bowl of cereal. Seriously. My parents, primarily my father, basically catered to me growing up. I really didn't have to do much of anything around the house, he cooked all the meals and cleaned, my mom worked all day, and I was provided enough of an allowance to keep me more than happy. Things were good. No, things were great. Adolescent life was wonderful.
Then it was time to grow up. Flashback to early 2008. My now-husband and I are living together, he is working basically full time and going to school to get his degree in Criminal Justice/Criminology. I work too, but it's a relatively easy administrative position and I am home by 4:30 everyday. He was a personal trainer and set his own hours, so he basically worked all day until he had to leave to go to school, and then was in class until 9:30, and then had to drive an hour home. He would get home around 10:30 and have to make himself dinner, study, do homework, and try to get some sleep to wake up the next day and do it all over again. What was I doing during these 6 hours while I was home and he was away you ask? Well, usually I filled it with shopping, sleeping, and reading. So basically nothing. It really wasn't fair at all, and when I look back at it now I can't believe he let me get away with that for as long as he did. But in my defense, I really had no idea it was even a problem. It was what I was use to.
One day, he had had enough. He took me into the kitchen, introduced me to some very foreign objects I now know as a stove top and oven, and taught me some very basics of cooking. If you cook chicken, you have to defrost it first. Then all you have to do after it's defrosted is put it on to this baking dish and put some seasoning on it, and throw it into the oven for about 30 minutes. Baked chicken! And then to go along with that, boil some water in a pot, throw this bag of brown rice in there for 10 minutes, and you're done. Voila! You've made dinner.
I'll be honest, even though it was pretty much the simplest meal I could possibly make, my first few tries... not so good. Cooking was not easy for me, I seriously felt like I had no clue what I was doing and I was terrified of poisoning the man. But after a while, I started to get the hang of things. And then I started experimenting a little bit. I wonder what it would taste like if I used this seasoning? Or what about this one? And then I started getting different chicken recipes off of the Internet to try. Parmesan chicken, then BBQ chicken, I was on a role! And that's where my love for cooking began. Right then. I would spend countless hours on the Internet finding new recipes, ideas, tips, hints, etc. Then he got me a cookbook for my birthday. I started making all kinds of things, and all of it from scratch. Pizzas, breads, desserts, shrimp. All kinds of stuff. It became my passion and my hobby.
My last job had great hours, but unfortunately the actual job sucked. I hated sales. I was good at it, but it was draining and stressful beyond belief. And when it began to effect my home life I knew it was time for a change. But man, working 6:30am-3:30am was golden. I felt like I got to spend so much more time with my family and doing things around the house than I ever did before. I could come home from work and still have plenty of time to whip up something great in the kitchen. Unfortunately, I don't have that luxury anymore. I now work from 8-5pm. By the time I pick up my daughter and drive home it's about 6:30pm. I don't have enough time to just start putting together a meal, eat dinner, give the princess a bath and get her to bed at a reasonable hour. It's just too late. Plus, by the time I do get home I'm usually starving.
Not only that, I recently came across this great website called Weelicious that features tons of amazing and healthy recipes for babies/toddlers. I wish so badly that I was able to make her some of these great recipes for breakfast and lunch. The problem is that when we leave in the morning she is still asleep, and when she gets to my parents or in-laws she just gets in bed with them and sleeps for a few more hours. And honestly I think they would feel offended if I was sending food with her. So that's out of the question.
I want to stay home. I want to quit working and stay home with my beautiful baby and make her awesomely delicious and healthy meals all day long. And take her on walks. And join a mommy group. And do mommy and me classes. And do all of those things I feel like I miss out on everyday being a working mother. The only thing holding me back is that I love my job. I really do. I'm an executive assistant and I make pretty good money for what I do and it would be really hard for me to leave. I love my boss. I love my co-workers. I love my company.
And of course, I love my daughter. The one thing I keep telling myself is that she is with her grandparents when she isn't with me, it's ok. She is not with some random strangers at a daycare. She is not being neglected. She is with her family who loves her very much.
But cooking, honestly it's a big part of it too.
Before I met my darling husband, I could barely cook up a bowl of cereal. Seriously. My parents, primarily my father, basically catered to me growing up. I really didn't have to do much of anything around the house, he cooked all the meals and cleaned, my mom worked all day, and I was provided enough of an allowance to keep me more than happy. Things were good. No, things were great. Adolescent life was wonderful.
Then it was time to grow up. Flashback to early 2008. My now-husband and I are living together, he is working basically full time and going to school to get his degree in Criminal Justice/Criminology. I work too, but it's a relatively easy administrative position and I am home by 4:30 everyday. He was a personal trainer and set his own hours, so he basically worked all day until he had to leave to go to school, and then was in class until 9:30, and then had to drive an hour home. He would get home around 10:30 and have to make himself dinner, study, do homework, and try to get some sleep to wake up the next day and do it all over again. What was I doing during these 6 hours while I was home and he was away you ask? Well, usually I filled it with shopping, sleeping, and reading. So basically nothing. It really wasn't fair at all, and when I look back at it now I can't believe he let me get away with that for as long as he did. But in my defense, I really had no idea it was even a problem. It was what I was use to.
One day, he had had enough. He took me into the kitchen, introduced me to some very foreign objects I now know as a stove top and oven, and taught me some very basics of cooking. If you cook chicken, you have to defrost it first. Then all you have to do after it's defrosted is put it on to this baking dish and put some seasoning on it, and throw it into the oven for about 30 minutes. Baked chicken! And then to go along with that, boil some water in a pot, throw this bag of brown rice in there for 10 minutes, and you're done. Voila! You've made dinner.
I'll be honest, even though it was pretty much the simplest meal I could possibly make, my first few tries... not so good. Cooking was not easy for me, I seriously felt like I had no clue what I was doing and I was terrified of poisoning the man. But after a while, I started to get the hang of things. And then I started experimenting a little bit. I wonder what it would taste like if I used this seasoning? Or what about this one? And then I started getting different chicken recipes off of the Internet to try. Parmesan chicken, then BBQ chicken, I was on a role! And that's where my love for cooking began. Right then. I would spend countless hours on the Internet finding new recipes, ideas, tips, hints, etc. Then he got me a cookbook for my birthday. I started making all kinds of things, and all of it from scratch. Pizzas, breads, desserts, shrimp. All kinds of stuff. It became my passion and my hobby.
My last job had great hours, but unfortunately the actual job sucked. I hated sales. I was good at it, but it was draining and stressful beyond belief. And when it began to effect my home life I knew it was time for a change. But man, working 6:30am-3:30am was golden. I felt like I got to spend so much more time with my family and doing things around the house than I ever did before. I could come home from work and still have plenty of time to whip up something great in the kitchen. Unfortunately, I don't have that luxury anymore. I now work from 8-5pm. By the time I pick up my daughter and drive home it's about 6:30pm. I don't have enough time to just start putting together a meal, eat dinner, give the princess a bath and get her to bed at a reasonable hour. It's just too late. Plus, by the time I do get home I'm usually starving.
Not only that, I recently came across this great website called Weelicious that features tons of amazing and healthy recipes for babies/toddlers. I wish so badly that I was able to make her some of these great recipes for breakfast and lunch. The problem is that when we leave in the morning she is still asleep, and when she gets to my parents or in-laws she just gets in bed with them and sleeps for a few more hours. And honestly I think they would feel offended if I was sending food with her. So that's out of the question.
I want to stay home. I want to quit working and stay home with my beautiful baby and make her awesomely delicious and healthy meals all day long. And take her on walks. And join a mommy group. And do mommy and me classes. And do all of those things I feel like I miss out on everyday being a working mother. The only thing holding me back is that I love my job. I really do. I'm an executive assistant and I make pretty good money for what I do and it would be really hard for me to leave. I love my boss. I love my co-workers. I love my company.
And of course, I love my daughter. The one thing I keep telling myself is that she is with her grandparents when she isn't with me, it's ok. She is not with some random strangers at a daycare. She is not being neglected. She is with her family who loves her very much.
EVERYTHING IS OK
I know that this is something every mother goes through. But is it normal to go through 18 months later? Should I still be having this debate?
Here is a possibility. What if I got a part time job, worked maybe 2-3 days a week, something low-key and non-stressful, and got to stay home w/ the princess the rest of the week? I could even maybe work evenings or something so that my husband would be with her when I'm not. I donno. I guess today I just feel really confused, torn, and I miss my kiddo like crazy.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Pizza & Marriage
Those two things, my dears, are the reasons why I will never ever be my ideal weight. Pizza is my weakness. I can't say no to it, ever. Even if I had just eaten a ridiculous 5 course meal, if someone offered me pizza right after wards I would totally eat it without thinking twice.
Lets take tonight for example. I ate relatively healthy all day. Coffee for breakfast, turkey sandwich for lunch, and chicken and brown rice for dinner. Pretty impressive huh? ;) Then we watch the show Cake Boss on Netflix. Well, we happen to watch the episode where Buddy has a pizza making contest with his father in law. My husband and I immediately turn to each other and we're both thinking the exact same thing. Hungry Howies. If you don't know what Hungry Howies is it's basically the same thing as Little Caesars ($5 large pizza) except you can get special flavored crusts like garlic, butter, etc. Keep in mind that not even 2 hours have passed since we ate our very healthy, filling chicken dinner.
Well guess what's left of that lovely Hungry Howies pizza he went and picked up? Not a damn thing. The two of us devoured and entire pizza not even two hours after eating dinner. That my friends is one serious addiction.
Now lets talk about Monday. I was so proud of myself. I ate really healthy all day and even worked out in the gym for an hour during my lunch break which is something I have not done in FOREVER. Seriously, I don't remember the last time I was in a gym. I was so excited to start of the new year with a bang and really change my eating habits this year.
Anywho, I'm driving home from work and I call my husband to ask him what he wants for dinner? He suggests shake 'n bake. While I don't mind Shake 'n Bake, it's also not my favorite. So what comes to mind immediately? Pizza. I tell him I want to make a chicken pesto pizza and send him a text message of all the ingredients I need him to go pick up from the grocery store. Well, not only do I eat 3 slices at dinner, I also had 2 more for lunch on Tuesday. And what's today? Wednesday. So 3 out of the 3 days this week I have already eaten pizza.
Someone get me the number for pizzaholics anonymous.
Lets take tonight for example. I ate relatively healthy all day. Coffee for breakfast, turkey sandwich for lunch, and chicken and brown rice for dinner. Pretty impressive huh? ;) Then we watch the show Cake Boss on Netflix. Well, we happen to watch the episode where Buddy has a pizza making contest with his father in law. My husband and I immediately turn to each other and we're both thinking the exact same thing. Hungry Howies. If you don't know what Hungry Howies is it's basically the same thing as Little Caesars ($5 large pizza) except you can get special flavored crusts like garlic, butter, etc. Keep in mind that not even 2 hours have passed since we ate our very healthy, filling chicken dinner.
Well guess what's left of that lovely Hungry Howies pizza he went and picked up? Not a damn thing. The two of us devoured and entire pizza not even two hours after eating dinner. That my friends is one serious addiction.
Now lets talk about Monday. I was so proud of myself. I ate really healthy all day and even worked out in the gym for an hour during my lunch break which is something I have not done in FOREVER. Seriously, I don't remember the last time I was in a gym. I was so excited to start of the new year with a bang and really change my eating habits this year.
Anywho, I'm driving home from work and I call my husband to ask him what he wants for dinner? He suggests shake 'n bake. While I don't mind Shake 'n Bake, it's also not my favorite. So what comes to mind immediately? Pizza. I tell him I want to make a chicken pesto pizza and send him a text message of all the ingredients I need him to go pick up from the grocery store. Well, not only do I eat 3 slices at dinner, I also had 2 more for lunch on Tuesday. And what's today? Wednesday. So 3 out of the 3 days this week I have already eaten pizza.
Someone get me the number for pizzaholics anonymous.
Monday, January 3, 2011
CSN Stores
Have you ever heard of CSN stores? If not, you definitely need to check them out!!! They have over 200 websites where you can find anything from modern duvet covers to cookware to shoes!
I have purchased several different things for my house from their websites and have always had a great experience. They're always having great sales, and best of all most of their stuff has free shipping! You really can't beat that.
I'll be doing a review for them here very shortly so make sure to stay tuned, and of course, happy shopping!
I have purchased several different things for my house from their websites and have always had a great experience. They're always having great sales, and best of all most of their stuff has free shipping! You really can't beat that.
I'll be doing a review for them here very shortly so make sure to stay tuned, and of course, happy shopping!
Happy New Year!
First of all, I hope that everyone had a fabulous new years! Mine was spent watching Dick Clark's New Years Eve with family and friends, nice and relaxing. What did you all do?
With the new year of course comes new years resolutions. I feel like it's the same every year: Lose x amount of weight. Eat healthier. Go to the gym. Etc.
This year though, I really want to stick with it. I may have lost all my baby weight pretty quickly, but that definitely doesn't mean everything looks the same. My flat stomach and tight abs are no longer in existance and my ass could definitely use a few squats if you know what I mean! This year it's about getting back into shape. Firming, tightening up. It's necessary. Especially if I'm going to be in a bikini this year, which I'm sure I will be. The little princess is going to want to go to sunsplash and there's no way in hell I'm going to be one of those frumpy moms in a one piece and a cover up. No thank you.
I'm lucky enough that my office has a gym so I don't have to pay for a membership and there's really no excuse not to go. It's 25 feet away and we even have a locker room with showers! It really just comes down to the fact that I need to get off my ass and commit to working out.
What are your new years resolutions, how do you plan on accomplishing them???
With the new year of course comes new years resolutions. I feel like it's the same every year: Lose x amount of weight. Eat healthier. Go to the gym. Etc.
This year though, I really want to stick with it. I may have lost all my baby weight pretty quickly, but that definitely doesn't mean everything looks the same. My flat stomach and tight abs are no longer in existance and my ass could definitely use a few squats if you know what I mean! This year it's about getting back into shape. Firming, tightening up. It's necessary. Especially if I'm going to be in a bikini this year, which I'm sure I will be. The little princess is going to want to go to sunsplash and there's no way in hell I'm going to be one of those frumpy moms in a one piece and a cover up. No thank you.
I'm lucky enough that my office has a gym so I don't have to pay for a membership and there's really no excuse not to go. It's 25 feet away and we even have a locker room with showers! It really just comes down to the fact that I need to get off my ass and commit to working out.
What are your new years resolutions, how do you plan on accomplishing them???
An awesomely easy potato recipe
My husband is a potato connoisseur. Seriously. I honestly believe if he could just live on potatoes alone he would do it. As a result, I have become an encyclopedia of potato recipes. Here's a delicious and incredibly easy one I'd like to share with you!
Cheesy Potato Wedges
Ingredients:
2-3 Rustic Potatoes
Shredded Monterey Jack Cheese
Olive Oil
Black Pepper
Parsley
Bacon Bits (optional)
Preheat your oven to 475 degrees. Put a shallow layer of olive oil in a tin roasting pan. Put the pan with the olive oil in it into the oven for a few minutes to heat the oil up. Wash potatoes then cut them in half, then halves again until you get a somewhat thin potato wedge. Place wedges out evenly into the warmed oil, sprinkle with parsley and black pepper as desired. Bake for 20 minutes.
Now, at this point you can either leave the wedges seasoned with just the parsley and black pepper. Or, when there are 3 minutes left you can take them out and cover them with cheese and bacon bits then put them back in the oven for the remaining few minutes. It's incredibly unhealthy but absolutely delicious.
So easy right! This recipe is great because you can use it as an appetizer, a side, or just a snack.
Cheesy Potato Wedges
Ingredients:
2-3 Rustic Potatoes
Shredded Monterey Jack Cheese
Olive Oil
Black Pepper
Parsley
Bacon Bits (optional)
Preheat your oven to 475 degrees. Put a shallow layer of olive oil in a tin roasting pan. Put the pan with the olive oil in it into the oven for a few minutes to heat the oil up. Wash potatoes then cut them in half, then halves again until you get a somewhat thin potato wedge. Place wedges out evenly into the warmed oil, sprinkle with parsley and black pepper as desired. Bake for 20 minutes.
Now, at this point you can either leave the wedges seasoned with just the parsley and black pepper. Or, when there are 3 minutes left you can take them out and cover them with cheese and bacon bits then put them back in the oven for the remaining few minutes. It's incredibly unhealthy but absolutely delicious.
So easy right! This recipe is great because you can use it as an appetizer, a side, or just a snack.
Enjoy!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Beauty Tip of the Week 1/2
Cutting down on your salt intake can help prevent puffy bags under your eyes!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
A fresh start & Day 1
A new year. A new blog. A new me. No wait, scratch that. The real me.
After much time spent contemplating whether I should completely erase my blog and start over or not, I just went ahead and did it. I read through old posts and found them irrelevant and boring. Too forced. Not me at all.
I’m starting off 2011 fresh now. I’m ready to commit and express myself and be honest. I don’t have to live this fake cookie cutter life to fit in. Having problems is normal. Being imperfect is the norm. The “stepford life” is not me, and never will be me, and that’s ok. I am totally ok with that, and I can accept that.
So I thought it would be fun to start off the new year with the 30 Days of Truth Challenge.
Lets begin shall we?
Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
I had to sit and think about this one for a while. Like most people, there are quite a few things I don’t really like about myself. I’m impulsive and it sometimes gets me in trouble. I procrastinate. I’m forgetful. I’m sometimes quite selfish. But something I hate about myself. Hate is a strong word. So it must be something I truly despise about myself and have no control over, and no way to change or fix it.
I hate how insecure I am.
It gets in the way. Sometimes it keeps me from speaking my mind and from standing up for myself. It keeps me from being a young confident woman. I am constantly second guessing myself and it drives me crazy. I’m always worried about saying the wrong thing. Or saying something that someone else might not agree with or like.
It’s annoying, and it sucks. I hate feeling so self-conscious all the time. There’s a girl that I work with and I envy her like you can’t believe. This girl seriously will say anything, and I mean anything, that crosses her mind. She’s so confident and doesn’t sit around trying to please people all the time. Same with my husband. He really doesn’t care what people think of him at all. He will just say whatever he wants whenever he wants.
There’s a reason for all of this insecurity though. Growing up, I was an ugly duckling. No joke. I have awful AWFUL skin, my hair was a frizzy out of control mess, I wore hideous clothes, I was sickly skinny, and I had no idea how to do my makeup. Whenever I attempted, it was usually caked on and clown like. It was terrible. All of my friends however were gorgeous and popular. They always tried to help me and make me feel better, but there was really no helping me. I was a lost cause. I got really depressed in junior high school. All my friends were having their first kisses and first boyfriends, and I couldn’t get a guy to look my direction. People laughed at me, made fun of me. I remember one time one of the popular boys at school called me pizza face in front of a group of people. I was mortified.
I remember contemplating suicide and crying myself to sleep almost every night. My parents took me to the dermatologist what seemed like weekly, but none of the acne medications worked. Finally at the end of my 8th grade year they put me on a very serious medication called acutane. It made my eyes blood shot all the time and dried my skin and lips out horribly. My skin would literally flake off all day long and my lips were so badly cracked they would bleed. I had to get my blood drawn once a month to make sure everything was ok. This medicine was no joke. Sure, it had it’s negative effects, but it also changed my life. I hibernated the summer before high school. While on the medication I couldn’t be exposed to too much sunlight because my skin would burn so badly.
I asked my sister to take my school clothes shopping the week before I was to start high school. I had always dressed terribly and wanted her to help me look girly and cute. I so badly wanted boys to like me. I remember meeting my friends at the local coffee shop the morning of my big day. They couldn’t believe their eyes. My skin was clear and beautiful. I learned how to use a flat iron and my natural blonde hair was sleek and smooth and incredibly long. My sister showed me how to apply makeup and helped me pick out the perfect outfit for my first day of high school. I was an entirely new person.
So although my story may have a happy ending, those years of depression and being made fun of still effect me now at 23. My years of shame and embarrassment have left me insecure, not as much as I was at 14, but still insecure and I’m not sure if it will ever be completely gone. Especially now that I’ve had a baby and am learning to deal with my post partum body.
So there you have it. Something I hate about myself. Feel free to join me in the 30 days of truth challenge!
Link up here:
After much time spent contemplating whether I should completely erase my blog and start over or not, I just went ahead and did it. I read through old posts and found them irrelevant and boring. Too forced. Not me at all.
I’m starting off 2011 fresh now. I’m ready to commit and express myself and be honest. I don’t have to live this fake cookie cutter life to fit in. Having problems is normal. Being imperfect is the norm. The “stepford life” is not me, and never will be me, and that’s ok. I am totally ok with that, and I can accept that.
So I thought it would be fun to start off the new year with the 30 Days of Truth Challenge.
Lets begin shall we?
Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
I had to sit and think about this one for a while. Like most people, there are quite a few things I don’t really like about myself. I’m impulsive and it sometimes gets me in trouble. I procrastinate. I’m forgetful. I’m sometimes quite selfish. But something I hate about myself. Hate is a strong word. So it must be something I truly despise about myself and have no control over, and no way to change or fix it.
I hate how insecure I am.
It gets in the way. Sometimes it keeps me from speaking my mind and from standing up for myself. It keeps me from being a young confident woman. I am constantly second guessing myself and it drives me crazy. I’m always worried about saying the wrong thing. Or saying something that someone else might not agree with or like.
It’s annoying, and it sucks. I hate feeling so self-conscious all the time. There’s a girl that I work with and I envy her like you can’t believe. This girl seriously will say anything, and I mean anything, that crosses her mind. She’s so confident and doesn’t sit around trying to please people all the time. Same with my husband. He really doesn’t care what people think of him at all. He will just say whatever he wants whenever he wants.
There’s a reason for all of this insecurity though. Growing up, I was an ugly duckling. No joke. I have awful AWFUL skin, my hair was a frizzy out of control mess, I wore hideous clothes, I was sickly skinny, and I had no idea how to do my makeup. Whenever I attempted, it was usually caked on and clown like. It was terrible. All of my friends however were gorgeous and popular. They always tried to help me and make me feel better, but there was really no helping me. I was a lost cause. I got really depressed in junior high school. All my friends were having their first kisses and first boyfriends, and I couldn’t get a guy to look my direction. People laughed at me, made fun of me. I remember one time one of the popular boys at school called me pizza face in front of a group of people. I was mortified.
I remember contemplating suicide and crying myself to sleep almost every night. My parents took me to the dermatologist what seemed like weekly, but none of the acne medications worked. Finally at the end of my 8th grade year they put me on a very serious medication called acutane. It made my eyes blood shot all the time and dried my skin and lips out horribly. My skin would literally flake off all day long and my lips were so badly cracked they would bleed. I had to get my blood drawn once a month to make sure everything was ok. This medicine was no joke. Sure, it had it’s negative effects, but it also changed my life. I hibernated the summer before high school. While on the medication I couldn’t be exposed to too much sunlight because my skin would burn so badly.
I asked my sister to take my school clothes shopping the week before I was to start high school. I had always dressed terribly and wanted her to help me look girly and cute. I so badly wanted boys to like me. I remember meeting my friends at the local coffee shop the morning of my big day. They couldn’t believe their eyes. My skin was clear and beautiful. I learned how to use a flat iron and my natural blonde hair was sleek and smooth and incredibly long. My sister showed me how to apply makeup and helped me pick out the perfect outfit for my first day of high school. I was an entirely new person.
So although my story may have a happy ending, those years of depression and being made fun of still effect me now at 23. My years of shame and embarrassment have left me insecure, not as much as I was at 14, but still insecure and I’m not sure if it will ever be completely gone. Especially now that I’ve had a baby and am learning to deal with my post partum body.
So there you have it. Something I hate about myself. Feel free to join me in the 30 days of truth challenge!
Link up here:
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